...

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Fuck this world! Extremely egoistic mother, annoying to the bone brother, a fuckin whatever father! Not enough to die?! The only one I trust will leave me! Fuck this world, hell...!!!

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Scared of losing something important Now that I grew too comfortable, How the hell can I go out?

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I'm his worthless toy, one he dispose once tarnish

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Tired as hell
Lately my problem increases

Dad's big sister suddenly gets cancer, so dad's not home almost all the time
His status is: "Have to support my sister, though I'm hurting"
Yea right, you're not the only one... -_-
My relationship with mom sucks
You'll know how bad later on, she keep me fully informed of my failure
Bro's no better, trust me

Then I keep getting this terrible dizziness and stomachache
Probably because lately I've been lacking too much of food and rest
My science's marks aren't that nice, I know, and I'm trying damn hard for better ones
I can't stop drinking wines, somehow it helps with the crazy circumstances

I really need help...

...

It hurts me, the way he make it as if he's the only one hurting, as if he's the only one suffering all the pain All that I want to ask never change Why can't I die?

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I shouldn't have started playing...
Now it got to the point which is not nice

The main reason why I play, is that I got nothing else to do
Things got boring, hell, things got creepy at home
And the talks with girls were too confusing and breath-taking

And the main reason why I hesitate at first, is that the pressure of playing with others' too big
When you play in team, the one you risk isn't just yourself
And that one thing is for sure, in games or real life
So that I really, really avoid playing in team or group

But now I'm stuck here, in this game
Not that fun till it is addictive, but it's nice
And sad thing is, I can't play that well

One if my acquaintances there demanded me to be...
Well, simply just the 'back up' while we're on battle
Like, using some kind of range type heroes and not just randomly hitting the buttons
Hahaha :)
I'm extremely pathetic on this kind of games
And he's just so serious on playing and getting high scores that it worries me
I'm being an obstacle, right?

I'm considering on quiting the game
With me, a 4vs4 game would feel like 4vs3
^^ As I say, I'm not good at this game
To use the excuse of "I'm new" isn't enough
I'm simply a burden to them

Different from my brother, I can't even play it with all the skills and so on
...
Maybe I'll let brother take over my account
So that maybe, he could replace my miserable play

Yeah
At the end, the one being all happy of this isn't me, eh?

:)

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Life's a stage
For everyone to play
One can choose which character they want
And which path they walk on
But one must make sure they build a strong base
Cause you might end up being a marionette

I've build a strong base
I've done enough
Life's giving me a chance to screw it up
To make things right, or at least feels right
But it all depend completely on my choices

And I'm tired
Cause life's a game,
Full of cheats and always unfair
And no matter how much I shouts,
No matter how much I cry
It's been decided, and the reality lingers in my ears

I want it to end, all of it
It doesn't matter to die or not to
Cause it's never mine to decide whether to or not to

Though I selfishly want a happy ending...

Who is it that laugh...
And said it is foolish?